Culled from the Police Reports page of the Bozeman Daily Chronicle come the best of the Bozeman police reports from the last week along with some items from the Sheriff’s Office. Note that a new book featuring the very best of these police reports is now available from the Chronicle for only $10 – just click on the banner below to find out how to order.

This week’s police reports are a rather odd collection, mostly bereft of alcohol related incidents for some unknown reason. For months now, it’s been unusually warm around here and the locals have been acting (and drinking) like it was summer time, but, last week saw fee late-night antics finding their way onto the police blotter, though there seems to have been a marked increase in crazy people dialing 911 such as the first highlighted item below.

• Diesel fumes were getting into a resident of 5th Avenue’s home and making them sick because their neighbor lets their vehicle run for 30 minutes when they start their car.
• Text messages a man thought were being sent to a girl were actually going to a girl’s boyfriend. The boyfriend threatened the man, leading him to call dispatch.
• Around 8 p.m., a woman caller was ranting about illegal technologies, saying she was “going for the death penalty.”
• A hand grenade was found by a man cleaning out his mother-in-law’s belongings.
• A woman driving a gray truck sped through a school zone on South Eighth Avenue while cussing and flipping off a woman that told her to slow down.

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Culled from the Police Reports page of the Bozeman Daily Chronicle come the best of the Bozeman police reports from the last week along with some items from the Sheriff’s Office. Note that a new book featuring the very best of these police reports is now available from the Chronicle for only $10 – just click on the banner below to find out how to order.

After some promising weeks of police reports in the New Year, it’s another disappointing batch below as the warm weather and lack of snow seem to have compelled many people to either drink even more than usual or just give up all together and stay home. There were a couple reports of the intoxicated stumbling into places they shouldn’t be in the wee hours, something that normally occurs during the summer, and that first highlighted item about satellites is a real doozy, but, overall, it’s been kind of dull for law enforcement.

• Someone was heard through the walls of a South 15th Avenue residence yelling “there is not enough marijuana.”
• An upset woman claimed she would “shut down the Bozeman Police Department” if someone didn’t do something. She said there were satellites over her house and wanted a deputy to go over and “record what’s going on.”
• A man playing with a gun accidentally shot himself in the right calf and left thigh.
• A 49-year-old man told police he has had about nine to 10 beers in the past day and hasn’t showered for a month.
• A deputy stopped a man seen driving in a ditch near the Logan Interchange around 1:30 a.m. The man wasn’t drunk but had been up for more than 30 hours and told the deputy he was planning to sleep in his car. The deputy told him that was a good idea.

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This is, by far, the funniest take on the South Carolina GOP primary last weekend and a welcomed breath of fresh air after watching some of the more serious coverage in recent days. If you’re in a hurry, skip directly to about the 2:20 mark.

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Colbert wasn’t on the ballot, so he urged voters to choose Herman Cain as a proxy vote for his own candidacy, but it bore little fruit, managing to attract only one percent of the vote.

Culled from the Police Reports page of the Bozeman Daily Chronicle come the best of the Bozeman police reports from the last week along with some items from the Sheriff’s Office. Note that a new book featuring the very best of these police reports is now available from the Chronicle for only $10 – just click on the banner below to find out how to order.

Yes, there’s been a noticeable improvement in the police reports lately as, apparently, unseasonably warm weather and the lack of snow have compelled some of the citizenry to behave as though it’s summertime, out and about in the wee hours of the morning after imbibing too much. Even the reports that are not alcohol-related are quite entertaining, such as the first two items in the list, and I didn’t know that law enforcement officials could track down a stolen iPhone as easily as described in the fifth item below.

• A man said his computer is being attacked from a wireless router. This has never happened to him before and he is visiting Bozeman. He said it is ruining his vacation.
• The driver of a compact car traveling slowly near Gallatin and Little Bear roads wouldn’t pull over so others could pass. The driver would also speed up in areas where other drivers had a chance to pass, keeping them from passing.
• A drunken man threw a pint glass at a bartender at a Main Street bar and then ran away.
• A drunken man was seen at the intersection of South Grand Avenue and West Alderson Street, lying in the street with his head in front of a vehicle’s driver’s side tire around 6 a.m. The man was taken to the hospital.
• Police tracked down a jacket, purse and iPhone stolen from a woman at Bar IX using her iPhone’s tracking software. The items were found in the bathroom with $20 missing from the wallet.

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Culled from the Police Reports page of the Bozeman Daily Chronicle come the best of the Bozeman police reports from the last week along with some items from the Sheriff’s Office. Note that a new book featuring the very best of these police reports is now available from the Chronicle for only $10 – just click on the banner below to find out how to order.

Things appear to be livening up a little bit around here after weeks of mostly dull police reports, the first item below being a summary of this story in today’s paper that, for some reason, editors felt deserved to be a featured report. This was just one of multiple similar reports last week, a category that hasn’t really been noticed in the year or so since these police reports have became regular Saturday fare here. And remember, driving with your lights off at 2 AM is one of the surest ways to get pulled over for drunk driving.

• A Big Sky woman was accused of slipping out of handcuffs while riding in the back of a patrol car, pulling down her pants and urinating. The woman was arrested in Big Sky for aggravated drunken driving around 4 a.m. Friday and, before being taken  to Gallatin County jail (about 40 miles away), was allowed to use the restroom at the Big Sky Fire Station. But while traveling on U.S. Highway 191 near Deer Creek, she was able to remove her handcuffs, unbuckle her seat belt, pull her pants down, and then urinated in the back of the squad car.
• Police warned two men on East Main Street around 2:30 a.m. for being disorderly “as they were having a heated discussion about the end of the world.”
• A yellow Nissan truck that says “pooper man” on the side has been parked near East Curtiss Street and South Wallace Avenue for three months.
• A teenage boy was seen urinating under an apple tree in a North Eighth Avenue woman’s yard at 12:46 p.m.
• A slender man with black goggles was walking toward the library when he gave a woman a weird feeling.

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