Culled from the Police Reports page of the Bozeman Daily Chronicle come the best of the Bozeman police reports from the last week along with some items from the Sheriff’s Office. Note that a new book featuring the very best of these police reports is now available from the Chronicle for only $10 – just click on the banner below to find out how to order.

Another week of odd reports that again makes you scratch your head about what compels some people to call the police. I guess after all the wildlife reports over the summer and the heightened bear activity in the fall in advance of their long winter’s sleep, this is just a slow time of the year. Nonetheless, below please find another collection of stories that are mildly interesting, modestly amusing, and, in some cases, a little disturbing.

• A 29-year-old Bozeman man was arrested for drunken driving after sideswiping a vehicle on West Aspen Street and getting into an argument with the vehicle’s owner.
• A woman stretching near the mall around 10:45 a.m. said a man came up to her and said, “That looks good,” and stretched next to her. Then he and another man followed her in a car. One of the men was wearing red plaid pajama pants and the other had a beer and was wearing blue sweatpants. They were gone when police arrived.
• A woman called to report that she may have hit another vehicle on West Main Street near Willson Avenue around 11:45 a.m. and wanted police to know in case the other driver called to report the incident.
• A driver called to tell police his Jeep died on South 11th Avenue around 9 p.m. and that he locked himself out of it. It was not a traffic hazard and he will get it moved after getting another set of keys.

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Culled from the Police Reports page of the Bozeman Daily Chronicle come the best of the Bozeman police reports from the last week along with some items from the Sheriff’s Office. Note that a new book featuring the very best of these police reports is now available from the Chronicle for only $10 – just click on the banner below to find out how to order.

This week’s police reports are a rather odd collection, mostly bereft of alcohol related incidents for some unknown reason. For months now, it’s been unusually warm around here and the locals have been acting (and drinking) like it was summer time, but, last week saw fee late-night antics finding their way onto the police blotter, though there seems to have been a marked increase in crazy people dialing 911 such as the first highlighted item below.

• Diesel fumes were getting into a resident of 5th Avenue’s home and making them sick because their neighbor lets their vehicle run for 30 minutes when they start their car.
• Text messages a man thought were being sent to a girl were actually going to a girl’s boyfriend. The boyfriend threatened the man, leading him to call dispatch.
• Around 8 p.m., a woman caller was ranting about illegal technologies, saying she was “going for the death penalty.”
• A hand grenade was found by a man cleaning out his mother-in-law’s belongings.
• A woman driving a gray truck sped through a school zone on South Eighth Avenue while cussing and flipping off a woman that told her to slow down.

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Culled from the Police Reports page of the Bozeman Daily Chronicle come the best of the Bozeman police reports from the last week along with some items from the Sheriff’s Office. Note that a new book featuring the very best of these police reports is now available from the Chronicle for only $10 – just click on the banner below to find out how to order.

After some promising weeks of police reports in the New Year, it’s another disappointing batch below as the warm weather and lack of snow seem to have compelled many people to either drink even more than usual or just give up all together and stay home. There were a couple reports of the intoxicated stumbling into places they shouldn’t be in the wee hours, something that normally occurs during the summer, and that first highlighted item about satellites is a real doozy, but, overall, it’s been kind of dull for law enforcement.

• Someone was heard through the walls of a South 15th Avenue residence yelling “there is not enough marijuana.”
• An upset woman claimed she would “shut down the Bozeman Police Department” if someone didn’t do something. She said there were satellites over her house and wanted a deputy to go over and “record what’s going on.”
• A man playing with a gun accidentally shot himself in the right calf and left thigh.
• A 49-year-old man told police he has had about nine to 10 beers in the past day and hasn’t showered for a month.
• A deputy stopped a man seen driving in a ditch near the Logan Interchange around 1:30 a.m. The man wasn’t drunk but had been up for more than 30 hours and told the deputy he was planning to sleep in his car. The deputy told him that was a good idea.

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This is, by far, the funniest take on the South Carolina GOP primary last weekend and a welcomed breath of fresh air after watching some of the more serious coverage in recent days. If you’re in a hurry, skip directly to about the 2:20 mark.

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Colbert wasn’t on the ballot, so he urged voters to choose Herman Cain as a proxy vote for his own candidacy, but it bore little fruit, managing to attract only one percent of the vote.